Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Couch. On fire.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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