Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
