i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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