I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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