Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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