Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
i now understand why vodka
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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