It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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