WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
