i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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