he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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