Screwed.edu
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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