I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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