If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
