drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
