When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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