Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
