Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
love makes seman taste better
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
