I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
