No, drunk sperm still make babies.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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