We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
