you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
