I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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