if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
