1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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