so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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