belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
