I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
