Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
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