....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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