Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
