so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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