I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Randomize
