Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
whose ass print is on the piano?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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