just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
