that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
