he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Randomize
