Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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