Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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