Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize