Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
