I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Randomize
