Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
His nipple licking is glorious
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