dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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