WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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