He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize