I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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