i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
