what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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