its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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