You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I didn't notice because vodka
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
