the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
