We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?