So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
where am i from again
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
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Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
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He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!