I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
She announced her abortion via fbk
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
the evidence from last night is not good...
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can