So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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