So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Randomize
