Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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