i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
