that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
