I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
