Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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