Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
