The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
