he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
