Kiss
Puke
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
