i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize