It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
