Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
