party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
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I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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