just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
