i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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